relief... We had our first OB appointment yesterday. We got to see the little peanut via ultrasound. It's still just as exciting as the first time with Macy. I was so excited because I could actually tell what it was. I could clearly see the head, adbdomen and little stubs of arms and legs moving around. And the little heart was beating - a wonderful sight. It's about 1 1/2" and, according to the doc, everything looked perfect. It looked like a boy to me...

I have a lot of catching up to do here... I guess I'll start with last Wednesday when I had the privilege of being able to meet and have dinner with anothe group of doctors and paramedics from Japan. They were in to learn about ETMC's system and Mike played a big part in showing them around. He and anothe co-worker picked them up from the airport Wednesday and then I met them all at Bernards for dinner. It is so interesting talking to people from other cultures. Mitomi, an anesthesiologist, and I talked alot about the differences in our cultures and I learned a lot. For instance, in Japan it is not impolite to ask one's age or weight. We talked about the diet craze and she says japanese girls now take their height in centimeters, subtract 100 and take .9 of that to get to their "ideal" weight (which is very tiny). I asked her what she thought of the low-carb craze and she said, "that is silly, you need sugar for brain!" She also told me a lot of little japanese girls she talks to wish for blonde hair and blue eyes. She says the japanese men like the "glamorous" -looking american girls.

We spent the weekend in Houston watching the first day of Junior Olympic girls volleyball tournament. My cousin, Annie, plays for the Nebraska Juniors team and they rock! Man, they've really changed the rules from the volleyball I'm used to. I was so impressed by these 17-year-olds and the college level volleyball they played. I found myself saying, "wow!!" alot. They actually lost their first game but came back and kicked butt in their second.

We got into Houston Saturday around noon. Since my family didn't arrive until 5:30, we decided to make the drive down to Galveston since we realized it was only about a half hour away. We ate at Fisherman's Wharf on the Pier and then went across the island to see the ocean and the seawall. We took a walk along the ocean with Macy and she absolutely loved walking in the water. She wanted to jump right in. We'll definitely be making a trip back.

And I'm up early this morning because I've had a lot on my mind. On the way home from Houston yesterday, my brother called me with news about my mom's diagnosis. The test results aren't back from Mayo Clinic yet, but the hospital's results are saying it looks like she has Pulmonary Fibrosis. When he told me this, I flashed back to that November day in 1985 when I was told my dad had a brain tumor. I knew nothing about it and, on one hand, was thinking he was simply sick for awhile, but I still couldn't help but feel the dread of what I would be told next. Back then, it was my older sister, Monti, who cried and told me that it wasn't a good thing that he had, that he was going to die. This time, it was Luke who said, "it doesn't sound good." He told me the things he read about it on the internet and I began feeling like I'd been kicked in the stomach. I'm just shocked. I never expected anything bad to happen to my mom, ever. She has always been the most stable thing in my life and whenever I think about my future, she was always there, being my mom and being Macy's grandma. I'm going to be hopeful though. I believe in the power of prayer and other non-medical aspects of healing. I know there's a plan for all of us, but I just didn't want this to be hers.

karaoke night... Yes, I busted out the ol' karaoke machine today to show Macy what it is all about. She was wary of the mic at first, but it wasn't long before she was belting out what I'm sure were beautiful lyrics in Macyese. She also had a nice little bounce groove thing going on. It was absolutely adorable. So of course, we had to show dad later this evening and it turned into an hour long family jam session. Mikey does a pretty good Margaritaville...

So I know what your thinking. I can't possibly still be going through the blues if I was able to break out into song with the K-machine. You're right. My life has gotten back to normal and besides being tired, I'm as happy as can be. I'm having fun with my daughter every day but lately I've been discovering how hard, yet essential, it is to have to say "no" to your child even if doing so results in them bursting into tears and looking at you like you've ripped their little heart out. My little angel is learning the art of manipulation and has witness my failure of strength just enough to know that crying may just get her what she wants. But in the hopes of nipping it in the bud, I've taken on a new attitude and, even though it breaks my heart to see the little baby tears of frusteration running down her face, I know that saying "no" and actually meaning it will hopefully pay off in the long run. I've heard it said before and haven't believed it until now, but... being a mom is a tough job. My hats off to all you moms. But I can't take all the credit because my wonderful husband is half the reason I'm able to do it. We work pretty well together.

So on to Father's Day weekend. We'll be hosting a BBQ Sunday for some friends and we spent another good part of this week in search of the best-bargained chunk of ribeye for Mike to grill. I believe the grocery stores are taking advantage of the weekend by holding off on the price cuts, but after first checking with Sam's, Super One, Brookshire's we did find and acceptable deal at Super Walmart.

My God I'm posting about meat. Either I'm e-rambling or I just need to get a life...

yee-haw... We went to the Gladewater Round Up Rodeo last night with our friends Erik and Melinda. But first we ate at the Country Kavern in Kilgore. It felt like we were in the middle of nowhere and if you drove by this building you would never think that it was a nice place to eat. But was excellent BBQ and we all couldn't help but eat way too much. Mike and I concurred that they have the best ribs so far. But Eric, who is native to this area and always has good stories, told us that the two brothers that used to own the Kavern shot and killed each other - yes, at the same time. Then the mother was killed in a car accident near the restaurant. Spooky...

The rodeo was a lot of fun, too. The biggest one I've ever been to. I love watching the horses run, they look so beautiful. I also like hearing the names of the broncs and bulls - and the cowboys usually have interesting names, too. My favorite cowboy name was a kid named Howdy Cloud. And of course you have to love a bull named Red Hot Chili Pepper. Mike got VIP seats through work so we had a nice view of the - whatchacallems - the pens where the cowboys get on the bulls before the chutes open. Macy's babysitter kept her at her house where they were having a pool party for her sister so we pretty much all had a great Saturday night.

Today I'm actually feeling pretty good. I just got through making a marble cake that I'm going to take over to the Schwartz's later. We've been invited over to go swimming at 4:00. I haven't been in a real pool yet this summer so it should feel good...

a boring, boring post... It's probably quite obvious from my lack of posting that I've been lazy and unmotivated lately. But my depression has subsided. I'm in much better spirits and, over the past couple days, a little more spunky, but still get very tired in the afternoons. But on the bright side, nothing exciting has been happening so I haven't missed posting much.

scary night... We had the scariest storm last night! I have never seen the sky so constantly lit up with lightening. It was super windy and rained hard. We lost power for a couple of hours but can't complain because some poor poeple are still without it today. What a wierd year for weather. All the tornadoes back home and the heavy snow last winter, etc. etc. We're supposed to get more storms this afternoon. Yikes.

Otherwise, my yesterday was nice. I took Macy to the mall and we walked and walked and walked. Then she played in the little play area for a long time as I sat on the bench and watched and made small talk with the older lady sitting there waiting for her husband. It was cute watching Macy and a little red-haired girl of about the same age yell at each other. Macy would say, "stop!" and red-haired girl would shout, "no!" But in the end they were friends, running around in circles and screaming together. I couldn't help but smile and laugh.

And last night Lisa and I went to see Raising Helen. It was cute and I really needed to see it. I could relate to the message - a lot. Once you have kids, you fall in love with them so much that your whole world changes...

weekend recap... Besides having a horrible case of the allergies on Saturday, I had a great weekend. Friday night Mike and Macy and I went to Longview because I thought there was a street dance but I had the wrong weekend. It's next weekend and it's called Alleyfest and I would still like to go. Anyway, since we were there we had dinner at Tony Roma's, so it wasn't a total waste. Saturday, like I said, I felt pretty crappy all day because of allergies, but we kept busy anyway. We went to the Mall in the morning and spent a couple hours picking out two new suits for Mike at the Men's Warehouse. Macy had fun playing in the dressing rooms and mirrors. Then we drove south a bit and visited wildlife safari called Cherokee Trace. It was okay, not as good as the one we went to in San Antonio, though. Sunday we just took it easy and Mike smoked the most delicious brisket ever. We invited Lisa over because Ron and the Boys are back in Nebraska for a week. And yesterday we breakfasted at the Lake Palestine Campground Cafe, swam in the Lake for awhile and eventually took the boat out for a leisurely two-hour ride. We spent the rest of the afternoon in lounge-mode.

Today is starting out better than last week. I'm in a much better mood, but my appetite is still lacking. Not to worry, I'm sure I'll make up for it during the "bring-on-the-pounds" second trimester.