success!.. and shopping withdrawal... I was successful my three-walks ritual last week. Wednesday and Friday we opted for "mall laps" instead of the trail. Macy seems to do better at the mall (hmmmm?) I think it's because she likes the bright lights and the people. It seems two laps around the mall = two miles. And I get to stay current on the latest fashions via window browsing as a wiz by. What's been hard the past couple weeks is the "spending freeze" (Mike's creative phrase) that we've been on thanks to a big fat property tax check we had to write. We're broke until Mike's next payday. Although I don't really feel broke. Broke to me is having $15 in your checking account with payday two weeks away and three bills due tomorrow. But we're broke in Mike's sense of the word so no shopping for me...

In other news. I turned in all required paperwork to the University and am now awaiting word on my acceptance. An email from the department head told me that my GRE scores are "probably" good enough. I'm hoping for the best. If I am accepted, I couldn't start until the fall term (October) and I would have to take four classes per semester in order to finish in two years (which I desperately want to do!) Which leads to other stresses, such as finding someone to watch Macy for a couple hours two days a week. I was kept awake last night with this worry. I've come up with the plan of trying to get her into a part-time daycare. But with all the waiting lists around here, I should probably start looking now. I'm being optimistic about my acceptance now, aren't I? Maybe I should wait for that before I start worrying?

Otherwise, the week flew by. I was sick Wednesday night and most of Thursday. It all started when I ate the potato & chicken pancakes that I made for dinner Wednesday night (a low-fat recipe from weight watchers). I thought they tasted good, but after a couple hours, I was nauseaus and had the dreaded d-word. I was up practically all night and could barely make it through the day. I felt like a terrible mom because I couldn't even take care of Macy. All she got for lunch was graham crackers and bananas and milk because opening the fridge made me sick. I finally called Mike at work about 1:00 and pleaded that he come home. He was home by 2:30 and I was straight to bed. I did feel better later that night and I felt great the next day. I guess you need to be sick once in awhile to appreciate feeling good.

So here I am on Saturday; the final day of January 2004. Macy is napping, Mike is showering, and later we will be making a trip to the grocery store for some supplies Mike needs to smoke some pheasants we'll be taking to the Super Bowl party tomorrow. I've never had smoked pheasant. Are they low fat?

has it really been this long?... Looks like another one of those quick catch-ups are in order here. Lets see.... what have I been doing?

(1/19) Monday (after my last blog) I took Macy and Truman into town and we walked 2.5 miles down the Rose Rudman trail. That night I played Bunco down the street. Came home with $5. Woo-Hoo. I also managed to walk again on Wednesday and Friday. It really felt good to be out in the sunshine. The weather has been beautiful.

(1/23) On Friday morning I attended a Ladies of Sandhill Lane brunch at my neighbor, Dawn's, house. About nine ladies attended, all of whom live on this street. Our street consists of about 2 blocks and is a dead end so it was nice to finally meet a few neighbors that I haven't yet. Macy had a blast playing with all of the neighbor kids. She gave herself a tour of the house and at one point, she walked into the kitchen where we were all sitting holding the end of the toilet paper ream, the rest of the ream flowing out behind her.

(1/24) on Saturday (Happy Birthday, Sammy Boldt!!!!) Mike, Macy and I went shopping and ate at Chick-fil-A in the Mall. We also made a trip to Sam's. Early afternoon we had a family portrait taken, which was a gift for our donation to the Flint-Gresham Volunteer Fire Dept. That evening, we left Macy at the Schwartz's with their neighbor kids, Thacker and Bridget, who babysit while we all attended Tyler Fire Department's Banquet and Awards Ceremony. It was a nice little affair. We got to meet the Mayor and Fire Chief and we even won a prize in the raffle (a $40 gift certificate to Julians!!!!!)

(1/25) Happy Birthday Dad. Steve Boldt would've been 54 today. That's not even old.

(1/26) Yesterday (Happy Birthday, Luke Boldt!!!!) Macy, Truman and I walked the trail, card shopped at Hallmark and grocery shopped at Super Wal-Mart. The weather turned a bit chilly in the afternoon so we just stayed in at that point.

And that should get me caught up.

i remember that feeling... I was hung over most of yesterday. Saturday night we had dinner club with five other couples. It was a lot of fun, but I had a few too many margaritas and I even smoked a couple cigarettes (sign no. 1 that I'm drinking too much). But yesterday proved quite unproductive (unless you count all the movies I successfully watched and the food I successfully ate). All I wanted to do was relax and eat. And fortunately, the weather was gloomy so it was a great day for that.

wake up call... Macy was kinda crabby this morning. Nothing bad, just tired but refusing to take a nap. At about 11:30, after trying twice to get her to sleep, I decided we both needed to get out of the house.

To get into town, there is a major 4-lane highway I have to cross by making a left hand turn. It's usually not busy, but today there was a little pack of cars and trucks that I had to wait for. Well, there was a big truck coming and it had it's right blinker on, which said to me that as long as there were no other cars coming, the truck was slowing down, so I could just pull on out. But when I went to step on the accelerator, my foot slipped off and I didn't go at all. And wouldn't you know that beside that big ol' truck was a speedy little car that I couldn't see and if my foot wouldn't have slipped and I would have pulled out like I wanted to, it would have smashed right into me at full speed. I see it as some sort of message. So on my drive into town, I appreciated the slow car in front of me and the fact that I hit all of the yellow lights. something is saying - slow down!

So after my wake up call, Macy and I strolled through my happy place (Target). I must be becoming a local now because I actually stopped and chatted with two people in Target that I knew.

And then we went to Southside Park to play. There is a great bike trail next to it and, after we got our fill of the park, we walked two miles down the trail, at which time Macy finally fell asleep. She's asleep now, so I have not real excuse not to get to that ironing that has been stacking up. Yuck!!!

grasshopper wing... That is the color of my living room now. I painted it yesterday and was able to do so only because I finally enrolled Macy in the "Parents Day Out" program at the First Christian Church. It's a walk-in program for anyone who wants to rid themselves of their children anytime from 9:00 to 2:00. After filling out all the required paperwork, I carried Macy down the hall to the 12-18 month old room to drop her off. There was one other little guy already there and two teachers. Macy was so excited. I sat her down and she ran over to the toys while I gave her bag and "nutritious" lunch to one of the teachers. I found myself stalling to leave, blabbing on and on to the teacher how I thought she would be fine, she loved daycare back home, we've only been her three months, etc. etc. etc. I think the teacher thought me a bit strange and just wanted me to shut up and leave, but I'm sure my tactics were mainly for self-calming purposes. I said goodbye to Macy and blew her a kiss. She looked at me, smiled, waved, turned around and toddled to another toy. I cried all the way home.

But once home I donned my painting attire and got to work. By 1:00 I had almost painted completely around the room, but alas, 3/4 of the final wall remained white. But I was sick of painting and anxious to pick up my baby. I happily paid for the daycare services at the door and walked back to her room. She was standing in front of a toy fridge. Another little boy was standing next to her, holding his blanket and sucking his thumb. When I walked in, Macy smiled and walked over to me. She was happy to see me. It felt so good.

Later that night, Mike graciously painted the final wall and touched up the rough edges and, voila! sitio verde!

not in the mood... I'm going through one of those "not in the mood for writing" phases (and right when I made the "write more" New Year's resolution, too!) But in the spirit of self documentation, I will recap the past few days. Let's see...

Macy and I lunched with Mikey at Julian's on Wednesday. For any of ya'll who come visit, I must take you there. It's Asian food; very good Asian food; very, very good Asian food. I had the Sesame Chicken.

And on Friday, I took my little Macy to meet Dr. Hyland for the first time for her one-year checkup. I think she liked him because she grabbed his pant legs when he walked in, held her arms up and was on his lap the whole time as he sat and spoke with me. And when he left the room, she cried real, heart-broken tears. But she perked right up again when two nurses came in. Little did she know what they were about to do to her. The dreaded shots! Three of them. But the shots actually weren't too bad. The worst part was that they had to draw blood. Oh my goodness, I practically had to lay on her to hold her still while two nurses tried to find a good vein, bla, bla, bla. It was so traumatizing. Her little face was so red that her hair looked white in comparison. One of my techniques I used to try to calm her was looking at her and singing "la la la". To which she did sing back, her little tonge going from side to side, singing la, la, la through tears, hiccups and jilted breathing. It was the saddest, cutest thing I've ever seen. The nurses were all "awwwing." But she bounced back like she always does and by the time we walked down the hall to leave she was smiling, waving and saying "hi" to everyone she say, including the two nurses who poked her. What a sweetheart.

And today, after lounging around with Mike and watching "Man in the Moon", I painted the entryway (it looks nice) while Mike worked out in the yard clearing the flower gardens and spraying the grass with weed killer. Macy watched in her stroller. It was a nice day.

get well soon, johnny... My stepdad, John, has been in the hospital for three weeks now. He went in with an obstructed bowel and, after two surgeries, is now in ICU. The doctors are hopeful it will now heal itself, but any good and positive thoughts and prayers wouldn't hurt to help along his recovery. Prayers for my mom, too. Just from talking to her on the phone I can tell how exhausted she is from the stress of it all.

On my homefront, not too much to report. I've applied for a job with ETMC's risk management department. It sounds interesting and I guess it won't hurt to look into it. I'm on the fence with working right now. On one hand, I miss having a destination every morning and I'm pretty sure that being a housewife is not what I was intended for. But on the other hand, I really enjoy the flexibility of staying at home and I love being with Macy. She's at a fun age to play with and I'm looking forward to being able to take her to the zoo and movies and all that fun stuff. I think it's one of those times where life will make my decision for me and everything will be ok.

Other than that, life continues along in a fashion of good. Oh, yesterday (Sunday) we drove down to Palestine in search of a Piney Woods Forest. But with said Forest not being found, we enjoyed a nice lunch at an italian joint called Giovanni's, so I guess it was worth it...

slept in the new year... Yes, Mike and I were both asleep before 10:00 last night. We were invited to a party at the Gustafson's, but Macy has been sick the past couple days so we decided to just take it easy. It seems like every time we travel, she gets sick. Poor thing, she had runny nose and congestion and just wasn't herself. Real clingy and cried if I sat her down. She took a four hour nap yesterday morning and another three hour one in the afternoon. But I'm glad we stayed home because she seems to be much better today. And besides, I was feeling introverted yesterday.

The more I think about it, I've never really been big on celebrating New Year's Eve. Last year I was in the hospital, and out of the five new year's eves previous to that, I can only remember celebrating two of them. I think it's just another one of those holidays where I feel forced into celebrating whether I feel like it or not. I feel like that most holidays (except Christmas, Easter and Valentines day.)

But I do like the whole New Year's resolution thing and each year I make some, although I rarely succeed in accomplishing much. But with a brand new 2004 attitude (this is my year, folks!) I will share my top ten list of resolutions. That way if I fail, ya'll can give me some crap about it.

1. get accepted into grad school!
2. send birthday cards to everyone I know and send them on time!
3. cease once and for all with the inner-dialogue which is constantly telling myself that i'm too fat and that I have to diet; but focus more on increasing my health and well-being (i.e. take more walks, meditate, learn etc.)
4. write more letters
5. begin 2004 personal scrapbook and catch up on (ok, start) past year's scrapbooks.
6. keep up on macy's scrapbook
7. find a church, and go there once in awhile
8. sing in aforesaid church's choir
9. buy easel and begin attempts at Mollie original "works of art"
10.continue writing (on- and off- line)

Happy New Year!