Day 18,250

I might be right, but what if I’m wrong. It’s good to listen to all sides. I mean really listen. Then process it for a while.

In heaven, all things are for your best interest. In hell, nothing is.  We are stuck in-between, therefore, neither to blindly trust or blindly fear will get us through. God, however, gave us our Soul and intuition. We must unbury it to find our way safely through this life.

I don’t need to know everything and I’m comfortable with this.

One of the best things God did was create diversity of cultures and people.  Yes, we are all brothers and sisters in humanity, but there are BEAUTIFUL differences!  Anyone who doesn’t see the beauty in that, well, I wonder about them.

We must go through life completely open to all things. This is the only way to grow and when the bad things come through, we simply must release them.  We have the power to do that.

It is becoming easier to get up earlier and harder to stay up late.

There are a lot of wonderful people and they are rarely recognized.  There are a lot of terrible people, but they are simply in pain.  No one should add to that. Give them love or stay away and pray.

My greatest natural ability is to love and for that I’m thankful.

You don’t have to match anyone’s energy. And you surely don’t have to match anyone’s attitude. 

There’s not many things that can’t be fixed. Don’t give up too easily.

The truly good people are always working. And they don’t need recognition.

God is the simplest of all things, made complex by humankind.

Never conform to anything if your gut is telling you not to.

moving on... Once again, I will be closing this blog and, with it, another chapter of my life. I've looked back over the past few months of writing and realized, quite frankly, how utterly bad and uninspired it has been. That is not the intent of my journaling and it never has been. I've come to the conclusion that I must shut down and rebuild from scratch. I will be creating another site, hopefully more meaningful and inspired and for those of you who wish to follow along, just send me an email and I will pass on the new address.

I will not attempt to end this on any sort of magical and brilliantly worded note. Just know that my morningcoke, eveningzin days are over. I no longer grab my coke from my very own fridge in the morning. Instead, I struggle with saying no to a morning Mountain Dew from the vending machine in the breakroom. And my evenings are no longer spent unwinding with a glass of white zin, but instead with the joys and struggles of getting my children to eat, go potty and unwind before their final bedtime destinations. That is my life right now. I struggle, yes; I'm exhausted by it, yes; but I also fail sometimes to appreciate the beauty of it. My new goal will be to recognize that beauty, to embrace the inspiration of my not-always-perfect-but-yet-so-wonderful life.

Thanks for reading and most of all, thanks for appreciating the sometimes very inconsequential words I've written.

brand new tooth and potty training... We actually had nothing to do all weekend. It was probably a good thing because the little Nickster was a big crab on Saturday. It was pretty frusterating because it seemed nothing made him happy all day. But his mood was explained Sunday morning when I felt the beginnings of his first little tooth protruding through. Sunday he was happier and the day went much smoother.

We also began Saturday morning donning Macy in her "big girl panties". I'm proud to say she made it through the whole weekend with only a couple accidents. Even when we were out and about shopping she told us she had to go. Hopefully she'll keep up the good work at Ms. Connie's this week.

Last week was quiet at work. I worked out each day at lunch with the exception of Wednesday when I attended a "Lunch and Learn" on Managing Stress. They also catered these huge sub sandwiches and I outdid myself by actually eating a whole sub myself. The boss was gone to her vacation in the British West Indies. She came back glowing this morning saying it was the most beautiful place she's seen (and she's seen a few places) I'm looking forward to things being back to normal this week.

Last Tuesday I took Macy, Nicky and Truman to Mike's softball game. All the kids were little angels and the weather was actually tolerable, too. But, alas, "Mid Life Crisis" lost in a big way.

And I must also say that Nicky is officially sitting up all by himself these days. He turned 6 months on the 13th, which was also Truman's 6th birthday... A week of progress for the kids, wouldn't you say.

Yesterday Mike and I cashed in his father's day gift and attended the Ranger/Blue Jays game in Arlington. It was a hot/humid day, of course, and after viewing the first two innings in our assigned seats, we set off to find some shade. It wasn't hard and we watched the rest of the game in shaded comfort. The stadium was beautiful and we had a great time. Rangers won 9-10 and I even caught a small, minute glimpse of us on ESPN Sportscenter last night.

After the game we went to the West End to eat. Little did we know that there was a big street festival going on with lots of booths of food. I think it was "Taste of Dallas" or something like that. Although all the food looked so authetic and delicious, we really needed to get in some air conditioning and relax. We decided on Gators where I had some delicious fajitas and Mike had the Coconut Shrimp.

Macy and Nicholas hung out at the Hootens' pool all day and both slept sooooo good last night.

recap... I feel like all I ever do is recap! Although this time I have a good excuse because I was in Nebraska from June 24th to July 3.

The traveling on Friday was pretty typical. At about hour 10 we all began to go a little crazy from bing in the car so long. But the kids, even for being so little, did so good. It was so nice to get to mom's house, eat and relax and see my sister, Monti and her family who were in from California.

Saturday we had a Miriovsky family photo session in Omaha followed by lunch and returned to mom's just in time to change and get ready for my friend Tracey's wedding at 4:30. On the way to the reception we stopped by an old hang-out of ours (Patty's Pub). We were only able to spend about 45 minutes at the reception but I did get to catch up with some old friends and co-workers. Then it was back to mom's where the whole Gregory clan had assembled.

On Sunday we attended Mike's parents' 50th Anniversary party in Omaha. It started out with dinner at Farmer Browns and then a reception at Mike's sister's. My mom and John were invited, too, and they were nice enough to take Nicky home before the reception. That made it a little more relaxing and fun for us and allowed Nicky some good, quality Grandma Sandy time.

Monday I had lunch with my mom and sister's at the Green Gateau, then we shopped. It was nice. I don't remember the last time it was just the four of us with no kids! Mike took my kids to have lunch with his former secretary. That night, we had the Boldt family photo shoot at the farm in Sterling. Besides being very hot and windy, they turned out well and it was good to be all together again.

Tuesday Mike golfed and I took the kids to Grandma Gregory's for the afternoon. Got my hair blonded that evening... I'm still kinda getting used to it.

Wednesday we packed up and headed to Omaha to spend the rest of the trip at Mike's sisters. That afternoon Mike, Macy and I went to the Henry Dorley Zoo with Grandpa Jim, Art, Amanda, Matt, Ben. I had forgotten what a phenomenal zoo that is! I just wish it wasn't sooooo hot! That evening we ate at Caniglia's. I had a very disappointing prime rib.

Thursday Macy and I slept in until 10:00! Mike golfed again. That afternoon we spent at Mike's parents and ate pork roast and dumplings that evening. This was one of Mike's favorite meals growning up. Pretty good and very filling!

Friday afternoon we went to Lake Manawa with Mike's sisters and their families. It was a beautiful day. That night we headed to Lincoln, picked up Levi and went downtown for a belated 21st birthday bar crawl for Levi. My other brother and sister were there as well as a cousin and aunt. My best friend, Nicole, was there and as always, it was great to see and talk to her. Another very good friend, Jen, and her husband also showed but, unfortunately, could only hang out for a short time because of a previous engagement. We had a good time for the most part - despite some minor annoyances which I won't get into. For the main part, I just wanted Levi to have a good time. I think he did. We had a great conversation after we left the bar. I realized what a smart and special guy he is. He thinks outside the box, questions things and is struggling with things that he really should be struggling with right now instead of just accepting status quo. I'm beyond proud of him.

Saturday morning, after a huge breakfast thanks to Mary Ann, we packed up, swung by Mike's parents' to say goodbye and headed down the interstate towards Kansas City. We stopped there to spend the night with my cousin, Sharla, and her family in their awesome new house. Unfortunately, her 2-year-old daughter wasn't feeling very good and was asleep when we got there. But she did come down long enough to play in the little pool a bit with Macy. It was so good to see them all and we left happy and refreshed the next morning.

As for me, the trip did a lot more for me than previous trips. It helped me realize how precious and important my mom, sisters and brothers are. It gave me some insight as to how I want to live and what I want to surround myself with. I've realized that there are things that I just don't have to accept in my life and there are things that are worth keeping intact. It's really hard for me to put into words right now. Maybe someday soon I will be inspired more to write about it but for now I'm happy with the fact that in my own mind, I've figured some things out. I've made some decisions and those things make me feel good and happy and relieved.

quickly... Played Bunko Monday night. It was fun and I had a few drinks and a couple cigarettes. It's been so long! Anyway, I didn't win any money but I had fun anyway.

Tuesday night Mike's slow pitch team "Mid Life Crisis" played. I took the kids to watch. They did okay considering they played Fed Ex, a much younger team.

Wednesday night I began the first phase of my obsessive-compulsive ritual of cleaning my house before leaving on a trip. It drives Mike crazy, but I cannot leave for vacations unless the house is as clean as I can possibly get it. Last night I dusted and vacuumed the bedrooms and started in on the 10 loads of laundry. Tonight I will have to clean the living room and kitchen, finish the laundry and iron. Oh, and pack. Oh, and I have RCI class. I just called Sister Susan to see if I could miss. She said sure but I'd have to make it up somehow because it's an important one. Not sure what to do yet!

Anyway, this is just a quick little recap since we're leaving for Nebraska early in the morning. We'll be gone until the 4th. Ta ta til then...

father's day and baptism... We had such a special weekend. Mike's parents came in Friday night. Although they stayed in town at the Hampton Inn, we had them out for pizza Friday night. Saturday we had brunch at Dwaye's Cafe - a dive of a place but they have good, cheap breakfast. We then ran some errands and went to the hotel to use their pool. Unfortunately, the pool was freezing cold and the only person brave enough to jump in was Mike. Macy didn't even want in. Mike and I sat in the hot tub for awhile while Macy ran around and Nicholas hung out with Grandma and Grandpa. We went home to clean up and then we met the grandparents at the Texas Roadhouse for dinner.

Besides being Father's day, Sunday was also Nicholas' day. He was baptized at St. Mary Magdalene. It was such a beautiful thing to witness. They first ribbed chatechumin oil on his chest to prepare him and then later in the service they baptized him. He was awake for the oil and did okay but by the time they were to baptize him with the water he was fast asleep. Father Kelly is well know for using a lot of water in his baptisms and he didn't disappoint. Poor Nicholas was awoken to three big handfuls of very cold water being poured over his head. Yes, he cried. But he got over it pretty fast. Father also poured oil all over his head and rubbed it in. He kinda liked that. My favorite part, though, was when Father took Nicholas and held him up for the congregation to welcome him and everyone applauded. Nicky looked so cute just taking in all of the applause. I was proud.

After church we mingled outside for awhile and then went home to relax and spend a little time celebrating Father's day. Mike and his dad opened gifts. Mike got a framed picture of he and Macy fishing, a Texas Rangers hat and two tickets to a Rangers game. He was very pleased.

At 4:00 we had a small dinner and that was that. It was a nice day. I'm looking forward to the next couple weeks. We're taking off Friday for the long drive to Nebraska. We'll be there for a week and hope to spend a lot of time with family and friend. My sister Monti and her family will be there from California so I'm excited to see them, too. They haven't even met Nicholas yet!

the week in review... Even though there has been a lot going on, the week has passed slowly for some reason. Today, especially, seems to be dragging on and on. Probably because it's Friday and I'm really looking forward to the next few weeks.

We are having Nicholas baptised this Sunday. Mike's parents are on their way as we speak. It will be nice having some family at the ceremony. His baptism is very special to me. Besides the obvious reasons, it's meaningful because of my own spiritual journey of the past few months since decided to do the Catholic conversion. Although there are aspects of Catholicism that I don't necessarily feel are essential to being a christian; after competing almost 3 months of classes and learning so much, I do feel that the core beliefs and doctrines are similar to my own values and the values on which I was raised. I am, however, on the liberal and more accepting side of things. Also, I'm reading the DaVinci Code presently and find that reading that story's depiction of Christian history, be it truth or fiction, have made classes a lot more interesting.

But enough! I wanted to jot down this week's happenings before I forget...

I got a call from Ms. Connie (daycare) at 3:30 on Monday saying Nicky had a temp. I left work an hour early to pick up the kids. He did have a temp but no other symptoms so I just thought it was teething or something. He had a low temp Tuesday morning but I took him anyway. Connie kept him but said he had a temp again in the afternoon. He seemed to be fine until the afternoons. I took him again Wednesday because he woke up okay. Connie said she wasn't supposed to take him until he was fever-free for 24 hours but she would try. When I picked him up Wednesday, he was still hot! I stayed home with him Thursday and took him to the Dr. He could find nothing wrong and chalked it up to an elusive virus. All of Thursday he was fever-free so hopefully we're back to normal today.

Tuesday's placeware call from the CEO went flawlessly and, in fact, I did nothing but dial in and introduce Jacksonville to all attending. I also had a staff meeting in the morning and lunched with Sallie, Cindy at Mark at "Chubby's." That night Mike had his first softball game. Since Nicks wasn't feeling well, I stayed home while Macy went with daddy to cheer him on. They lost 8-9. Not bad for their first game!

Wednesday was uneventful.

Thursday, like I said, I stayed home with Nicky. Besides getting all of the laundry done, sending off a father's day package to Johnnny, returning a dress, and taking Nicky to the doctor (just to make sure), I also spent a lot of quality bonding time with my little baby boy. And something very special happened. I was holding him and talking to him and he was looking at me quite intently. All of a suddden he got a big smile on his face, reached out with both hands, placed them on my cheeks and pulled my face to his mouth. He was trying to eat my chin, but I like to think of it as his first mommy kiss. It was so sweet!

And here we are at Friday. As soon as this work day finally ends, I'm looking forward to enjoying company and baptismal celebration this weekend and have challenged myself to keep my diet intact. dum.......da-dum-dum-dummmm!!!!

Weekend recap... Saturday we attended my company picnic at Nichols Green Park in Jacksonville. It was also tomatofest 2005! Apparently, Jacksonville Tomatoes are world-renown. Anyway... It was hot, hot, humid, hot!!! We arrived at the picnic at 12:30 - at some yummy, scrummy DJ's bbq, took Macy around to the bounce houses (too hot to bounce on!) and basically sat in the shade and listened to the DJ and sweated until 2:00 when they had the drawing for some neato prizes. But we did not win anything and left. It felt so good to feel the air conditioning in the car. We had stripped Nicky down to nothing but a diaper and had him chew on a cold water bottle the last hour or so. He is very hot-blooded.

After we returned home and got settled in, I headed to the mall for a quick shopping spree. It's the first time I've had a spare couple hours to go spend my paycheck money. I desperately need new work clothes and shorts and everything else for that matter. But you know how it goes, when you have the money, you don't find anything and when you don't you do! I got a few things but was generally disappointed in my lack of findings.

On Sunday I went to 8:15 RCDI class. Mike had softball scrimmage at 2:00. He took Macy with him and Nicky and I went to Target to return some things. Then we went to the ball field to watch. It was hot but we found a nice spot in the shade so we endured.

And here we are on Monday morning again. I actually just finished up a couple projects and have a few more sitting on my desk. I'm nervous because tomorrow I'm supposed to lead a live placeware call from one of our CEO's and our entire supervisory staff. Luckly, I've enlisted the help of our two IT guys to help me with the technical stuff. I hope it goes smoothly!!!!

weekend recap... On Saturday we took the kids to Tyler State Park for "Kids Fish Day." Mike had bought Macy her first fishing pole last week, and not one of those little Barbie ones, either... A real big kid pole - red. She started out really interested but soon lost her interest as there was too much going on. She did the fish painting table, too. But for the most part, her and daddy fished and Nicky and I sat on a blanket and watched. We left right when it was starting to get hot.

And later that night Mike and I went on our first real date in a very, very long time. We had a wonderful steak dinner at Texas Roadhouse and followed it up by viewing Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith at the brand new Carmike Theatres. I must say I absolutely loved the movie!!! I think it's my favorite of the whole series!

Sunday we went to Church and Mike smoked pork all afternoon and we had Geoff & Edie and Nathan & Ashley over for dinner. Ashely asked me to sing in her wedding! I'm honored.

So on to my fourth week of work. Sallie will be back so things should be much less slow.

PS - Nicky's 4-month check up was last Thursday. 19.5 lbs - 26 inches. My big boy!!!

so quiet... My boss is still in Dallas. I've been pretty bored at work, but in some ways it's nice to be in a peaceful setting. They day goes pretty slow though. Yesterday I worked out over lunch and I plan on doing Pilates with a couple of the girls here today. I once again started a diet. I really need to get rid of these last 10 pounds. 15 would be even better. I'm unofficially doing the weight watcher's Points thing and have created a separate blog to track my points at www.myfriggindiet.blogspot.com. I'm hoping that publishing them will help me stay on track.

Monday, May 30, 2005
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happy memorial day... The family went for a drive to try to find a big Lake on the Texas/Louisiana Border but ended up disappointed when there were not major entryways to it. That's something we keep forgetting about Texas - Everything is SO COUNTRY! But it was a nice drive and we got to see parts of Texas that we haven't yet seen. The kids slept for most of the ride. We were all excited to stop at DJ's BBQ in Jacksonville on the way back but they were closed for the holiday. So we went home and had jalepena/cream cheese pizza.

Saturday, May 28, 2005
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my little man... Nicky had his first haircut today at the Green Acres Barber Shop. He sat so good on his daddy's lap and really seemed to enjoy it. He smiled and giggled most of the time, and, at one point, looked as if he was going to doze off. It was pretty darn cute. I got pictures and video. Now - he looks just like a little man.

crazy week... Macy has had strep all week. I had to leave work Monday, Mike stayed home Tuesday, and I stayed home Wednesday. Mike also took Thursday morning and this morning off and we had a sitter in the afternoons. Fortunately our bosses and co-workers have been very understanding. Her fever finally broke last night so hopefully by next week she'll be good as new. We have a long weekend for recovery. I just pray that Nicky stays healthy!!!

We have no plans for the Memorial Day weekend. If she feels up to some fun, maybe we'll try to get out and do something!

ps: It's payday!!

the second week... Beginning my second week on the job. The boss is still in Dallas, maybe for most of the week. I'm going to have to find something to do. Maybe my education modules...

Sunday, May 22, 2005
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the longest day... For some reason, this day seemed to drag on and on and on. Nicky awoke at 6 a.m. and was quite fussy all morning. He finally fell took a nap at about 1:30; about the time Mike left for his first slow-pitch practice. He took Macy with him so I had a couple hours of peace and quiet. I actually laid on the couch and watched TV.

After practice was over we packed up and headed to the Schwartz's for a quick dip in their neighborhood pool. Nicholas LOVED IT! He looked so cute in his little orange Hawaiian swimming trunks. Macy was uncharacteristically timid in the water and wouldn't let go to swim by herself. I think she still had fun, though. Afterwards we grilled burgers and brats and then headed home. We got both kids in bed by 9:00 and finally were able to hit the sack ourselves. It seemed to be about midnight by then. Macy continues to make us work to keep her in bed. She wandered out several times.

Saturday, May 21, 2005
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hot... I think Summer's here! It was 98 degrees and Hu-Mid today. Mike aerated the yard this morning and came in dripping wet. We also had a family grocery-getting trip. And at 3:00 we attended Tony Myer's annual company get-together at his house on Lake Tyler. We used Dawn's babysitter, Mandy, for the first time because Ashley was out of town. The kids did fine. The party was fun. We drank wine, ate boiled shrimp, brats, potatoes, onions and several fine desserts will participating in the usual fun-filled b.s. with Mike's co-workers and spouses. We probably would've gone out afterwards with Ron and Lisa but the babysitter had plans. So it was home with us. Gave the kids baths, put them to bed and relaxed the rest of the night.

Friday, May 20, 2005
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first week down... My first week went well. The boss was out of town today so it gave me a chance to really dig in and get to know my work area, etc. Otherwise, nothing new to report.

Thursday, May 19, 2005
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Thursday... Had lunch at Hondo & Shorty's with Sallie and Mark. Catholic class tonight.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005
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Wednesday... I was on my own this morning getting kids and myself ready. It all went very smoothly! Had lunch on my own today. I checked out the J'ville Wal-Mart and went to Subway. Mike and Dr. Moore stopped by the office on their way back from Houston. I showed them around, introduced them to Sallie. they seemed impressed. Glad Mikey's home.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005
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tuesday... Mike left for Houston today to give presentation to paramedic class. He'll be back tomorrow afternoon so I'm on my own til then. Had lunch at Larissa House with Sallie, Mark, Lesa & Scott. It was delicious! I also experienced my first All-Associate meeting today. It's a big meeting for all employees giving updates on all aspects of the business. They also gave out awards and recognized new employees (including me).

Monday, May 16, 2005
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first day at work... Wow. Can't believe I'm actually back out there. I do feel like a whole new person. Guiltily, a happier person. I know I don't have to explain myself, but I guess it helps me feel better. I LOVE my kids!!! I LOVE being around them. But I need more. I need to leave the house every day. Hopefully, they'll love their new schedule, too.

Work went well. I spent most of the day in orientation and filling out paperwork. Sallie took me to lunch, along with a couple other supervisors and dept. managers. We ate DJ's Barbecue and it was soooo good. I had the yummiest ribs ever!

I think I'm gonna like it. The people are wonderful, my boss is very cool and the work is right up my alley. I do enjoy organizing other people's lives for them.

Also, we had our final baptism class tonight.

Sunday, May 15, 2005
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how nice... Ron and Lisa hosted dinner tonight honoring me and my new job. We had spaghetti and meatballs.

Saturday, May 14, 2005
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clean house... Had a major bout of the cleaning urges today. I cleaned all the ceiling fixtures and ceiling fans, I dusted, vacuumed, cleaned bathrooms, kitchen floor, laundry. I did it all. I think it's my way of getting everything together before I head out to work on Monday.

Friday, May 13, 2005
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happy 4 months, Nicky... My baby is four months. It is going both quickly and slowly, if that makes sense. Maybe I'll try to explain that one later...

This day also marks my last day in my run as stay-at-home-mommy. I'd like to say I'm sad, and I guess in a way I am, but more accurate would be to say that I'm excited and happy. I'll miss my babies, no doubt, but at the end of the day, I'm sure I'll be a happier person and appreciate my home and family more. Time will tell if I'm right.

We went to Miss Connie's to drop off diapers, formula, etc. and to pick up paperwork. Macy played and had fun while we were there so I'm sure things'll go fine next week. I hope so!!!

Thursday, May 12, 2005
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Yay for me... I got the job. They called me this morning with the offer. It was a good one and I accepted. I'm so excited but I'm not sure it's really hit me yet how much my life is going to change. We got a sitter and Mike took me to Bennigans tonight to celebrate. I have to admit that while we were out I was having some sad and apprehensive feelings. I've spent every single day for the past year and a half with Macy and the last four months with Nicky. I will miss them, but not the lifestyle. It seems so wrong of me, but I really feel like it's the right thing to do.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005
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We ran lots of errands today. We got the kids' immunization records and went to the mall. Just did some window shopping and ate at Chick-fil-A. We also had some fun in the picture booth. This evening, I took Mike over to meet Miss Connie. We sat and talked to her and her husband, Mr. Danny. Mike asked a lot of questions that I didn't think of and all seemed well. Macy played the whole time. When and if I do get a job soon, I think she will be suitable.

Sunday, May 8, 2005
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happy mother's day... Mike made a wonderful breakfast this morning and gave me my gift... a birdbath! I've been wanting one for a long time to put in the front garden. It was perfect!

So, he told me the day was mine to do whatever I wanted. I wanted to get out of town so I went online to see what was happening in Dallas. I happened upon the Cat Fancier's Feline Show and thought that would be interesting. Off we went. It was interesting... and stinky. Just imaging about 150 litter boxes in one place. But we got to see all types and breeds of cats. I do love cats I'm just not the crazy cat lady that you envision when you hear "cat lover." Macy had an absolute ball, too!

After we had our fill of the kitties (poor Mikey) we went to Pappadeaux's for some early dinner. It was my first time there but have heard raves. I had blackened catfish and it was definitely one of the best meals I've ever had.

I had a wonderful Mother's Day.

Saturday, May 7, 2005
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surprise!!!... Attended a surprise graduation party for Lisa today. She was very surprised and flabbergasted that Ron could pull off such a thing. Mike and I were enlisted to show up early to set things up before they returned from the ceremony. Basically spent the whole day eating so I was happy.

Also, my friend Motomi got married today in Hawaii. Too bad we couldn't make that one. *sigh. Maybe I'll get to Hawaii one of these days...

Thursday, May 5, 2005
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interview... I had an interview today with Alliance Data Systems. It went very, very well and, not trying to sound boastful, but I have a feeling they may just hire me. It would be a good fit.

I left Nicky at Parents Day Out today as a drop-in for the first time. Initially when I set it up I was just going to take a "me" day, but it worked out well with the interview. I got groceries and had Ashley pick them up at 2:30. I got home from the interview about 3:30.

Wednesday, May 4, 2005
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couple more... Interviewed another potential babysitter today. Her name is Connie Dallas and she sits from home. She's been doing it for 25 years and says it's her chosen profession, she just loves kids. She's a grandma-type and her house was clean and organized and the kids were sweet and clean. It all looked good. She's definitely the top choice.

I also stopped by Mamma's House to take a look. The people seemed nice, but the place wasn't up to standard. Too institutional-like.

Tuesday, May 3, 2005
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can you say dirty... Checked out Gresham Heights Learning Academy. Um, don't think so.
I was polite and asked a few questions but Mike said nothing. He doesn't like to waste people's time.

Sunday, May 1, 2005
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happy may day... We went to Canton this morning. Bought a couple cutting boards for $1. I also went to a friend's open house in Whitehouse and later we attended the church picnic. They had a potluck with some Irish-type live music. We re-united with some couples from last night's dinner. The kids all ran around and played with Vincent, Father Kelly's boxer dog. Macy made some new friends. It was a nice day but it was also nice to get home and relax.

Saturday, April 30, 2005
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date night... Had a unique date-night tonight. We got a sitter, went to church and then to dinner at Father Kelly's house. He hosted about 10 new-member couples. The wine was flowing and we had a surprisingly good time. Father Kelly is an interesting man. He was previously a teacher, politician and pub-owner in Ireland. I've just begun reading The Davinci Code and we had an interesting conversation about the book and the whole Opus Dei thing.

Thursday, April 28, 2005
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I'm gonna do it... I've been pretty down and out for awhile. And I guess I really didn't realize it (or I was denying it) but it really hit home last night when, throughout my bouts of tears and frustration, Mike looked at me and basically told me that I was miserable and we needed to figure out how to fix it. For my husband to state the obvious was I guess all it took.

So all night I thought and thought about what to do and came to a couple of conclusions.
1. School is a major stressor in my life right now. Not the actual class and learning part, but the road ahead and all the blockers.

a. My advisor is very uncooperative and does not return phone calls or emails.
b. I will need 14 graduate classes, some of which are early afternoon which raises problems with child care.
c. I also have at least 3 undergraduate deficiencies which are only offered during the day, four days a week - another childcare issue. I could take these classes online through APU, but they would cost approx $800 per course. Ouch!

All of these things would be worth working through if... I was sure that this was the absolute right path for me to take. I've been second-guessing being a counselor.

My conclusion: Put school on hold for awhile. Step back and re-evaluate later. = felt better!

2. I don't enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. Sure, I love my kids and enjoy being around them, but the staying at home every single day thing is not working. I feel isolated and lonely. It would be different if we were in Nebraska, around family, but here I find myself sad and lonely most days. I don't want my kids to have a depressed mommy.

conclusion: I should look for a job.

so... I had lunch with Mike today at Double Dave's. It was there that I told him everything that has been going on in my mind since our talk last night. He's such a wonderful, supportive man and is behind me 100%. We concluded that first thing would be to find daycare so that's first on my agenda.

the need to leave... Every once in awhile I feel a need to get out of the house. And sometimes this need is so overwhelming that I not only need to get out of the house but also leave town and go far away someplace. Today was one of those days. I packed up the kids this morning and headed out with no real plan. We ended up in Palestine. I decided to try to find a park and when I finally did, it was being tended to by a group of convicts dressed in white being watched over by a lone cowboy-hatted sheriff. We decided not to get in their way. We couldn't find much else to do so we stopped in at the local Wal-Mart to shop and change diapers and followed that up with lunch at Applebees. After that, we drove home. I was so proud of my little angels for being so good. We had a nice little day.

P.S. I can't believe Anwar was booted off Idol tonight!!!!

sleeping baby, clean house, clean me... Macy's at school and Nicky's taken some good naps so I've managed to dust and vaccuum my whole house and work out today. I've even showered!

Monday, April 18, 2005
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i won... I was the big winner at Bunco tonight. I won "most buncos" and "most wins." $45.00 for me!!

Sunday, April 17, 2005
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happy birthday grandma marie!!!...

Friday, April 15, 2005
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king of the hill... We had drinks down the street at the Hudson's tonight. They've coined these driveway get-together's "king of the hill" in reference to the silly show about Texans. We played eighties rock music from the car, ordered pizzas, drank some cocktails and the kiddos danced and ran around like maniacs.

Thursday, April 14, 2005
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dentist... Mike and I had our dentist appointments today. I need a crown! AFterwards, we had lunch at Daniel Boone's with a bunch of his co-workers.

Monday, April 11, 2005
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some much-needed company... Dawn and Carter hung out with us all morning. I made chicken salads for lunch. Typical afternoon...

happy baptism, katy... My newest niece, Katy Lynne Boldt, was baptised today in Sterling, Nebraska. Unfortunately, we couldn't attend but my prayers and thoughts are with the sweet little thing.

Mike mowed this morning and replaced a recently deceased climbing rose in the back yard. We drove to Palestine to view the dogwoods but, alas, we're a week too late and the blooms were already gone. We came home and pigged out on Mike's yummy hot wings and potatoes and garlic. Nicholas slept A LOT today and went to bed at 8:30 tonight. Look out!

Saturday, April 9, 2005
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coffee landing... Went to a baby shower for my friend, Johnna, in the morning. Mike taught in the afternoon and we had Ashley sit for a couple of hours while we dined at Coffee Landing in Coffee City. Had the steak and shrimp and a couple vodka & 7's.

Friday, April 8, 2005
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scary movie... took the kids to Brookshire park in the morning. Had a typical afternoon. Macy took a good nap but Nicky didn't. Mike suggested when he got home that I go out and do something since I had such a touchy week. I took him up on it and called my friend, Edie, and we went to see The Ring Two. Freaky!!!

Thursday, April 7, 2005
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bad day... Nicholas decided not to sleep AT ALL today. He needed me to hold him; which would've been fine except it was only okay if I was standing and bouncing. Macy was a bit whiney, too. I almost called Mike at 4:00 to insist that he come home NOW but didn't. So imaging my chagrin when he called at 4:45 to say he'd be late because of a big school bus accident he and the other Directors needed to go to. I felt like a jerk being angry about that. I'm a selfish, selfish girl!

Sunday, April 3, 2005
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lost temper... I lost my temper this morning trying to make Macy take her medicine. She kept spitting it out and I just totally lost it! I basically had to force it down her throat. Mike and I had a bit of a spat about that. Of course, he was right. I wish I had better control of my temper.

Later, after I had calmed a bit, Cami called with the best news... She got engaged this morning and asked me to be a bridesmaid!!! I'm thrilled and honored! The best news... she will wed somewhere tropical (I'm hoping for Hawaii!)

In the evening we had dinner at the Schwartz's for Marc's 6th birthday. We had steak and lobster with bernaise sauce.

Tuesday, March 29 - Friday, April 1, 2005
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a visitor... My dear friend, Cami, decided to make Texas her spring break destination. I picked her up at the tiny, little Longview airport on Tuesday. On Wednesday we took the kids to the park and walked around Azalea district and had lunch with Mike at Pasados. Thursday I took her to Canton First Monday Trade Days. Friday we had lunch at Little Italy and took a drive around the countryside (mainly because the kids were sleeping in the car.) And then it was already time to return her to the airport. I was so glad to see an old friend and the visit went too fast.

Sunday, March 27, 2005
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happy easter... We all went to church this morning at St. Mary Magdalene. When we got home, whatdayaknow... the easter bunny had been here. Macy had such fun opening up her big egg filled with books, bubbles, a tiny stuffed bear and all her little eggs. Nicky could care less at this poing but he did get a cute little stuffed elephant and a book.

In a non-typical Easter fashion Mike started up the smoker and made ribs in preparation for the big bbq feast we were hosting for some Japanese doctors and nurses visiting ETMC. I was excited to see Motomi again because I had met her last fall the first time they visited. She brough me gifts from Japan - a scarf and a little teddy bear, both made from a Kimono. They all loved the ribs, beans and potato salad. It was the first time for all of them to taste such food. Afterwards, we all went to the Schwartz's for dessert. Macy and Nicky stayed with the Hootens. They took some great pictures of them with Kelly's FFA bunnies.

Friday, March 25 - Saturday, March 26, 2005
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weekend at pop's... Went with our neighbors to his parents beautiful ranch in Athens. They had such a nice spread. Friday night we hung out in the shed and the kids ran around like crazy. Saturday, Mike, Brian and his dad (Pops) went fishing. They returned around noon and cleaned the fish while the kids played in the tree house and we all went four wheeling. Unfortunately, it was kinda rainy and cold. We had a delicious dinner of smoked ribs and brisquette. We left early afternoon so we'd have time to get home and clean the house to prepare for the dinner we are hosting tomorrow.

Thursday, March 24, 2005
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nicky's two month check-up... Shots and all. Little guy weighs 15 pounds!

allergic, but well rested... I had an allergy test yesterday and what follows is a list of everything I'm allergic to:

Fall Cedar pollen
Mt. Cedar pollen
Red Cedar pollen
Black Willow pollen
Black Walnut pollen
Box Elder pollen
American Elm pollen
Eastern Cottonwood pollen
Easter Sycamore pollen
White Ash pollen
Virginia Live Oak pollen
Red Birch pollen
Rough march elder pollen
Cocklebur
Short Ragweed
False Ragweed
Western Ragweed
Johnson grass
Kentucky blue grass
House dusts
Dust Mite P
Dust Mite F
Bipolar sorokiniana
Cladosporium sphaerospermum
Alternaria alternata
Asperigillus Mis
Chaetomium globosom
Rhizopus Oryzae
Penicillium Mix
Mucor plumbeus
Trichophyton Mentagrophytes
Aureobasidium pullulans
Drechslera spicifera
Helminthosporium solani
Fusarium moniliforme
Dog dander
Cat dander

Basically, all those big, crazy names are several different species of fungi. The allergist was particularly impressed with how strong my reactions were to Dust Mites. Apparently, they were off the scale.

In happier news, Nicky slept sooooo good last night! He went to bed at 8:30, woke up at 1:30 to eat and slept again until 6:00. Mike got up with him at 1:30, so I got a full eight hours of sleep last night!! It's a new record!!!

excuses... Let me start with these. I've been unable to stay online for more than minutes at a time due to telephone line problems. Sprint has finally fixed the problem after weeks of tracking down the culprit.. an old buried cable a couple blocks away from our house. But halleluia, we're back on! In addition, I'm still finding that I spend the majority of my day attending to the needs of a now nin-week-old and/or big two-year-old sister. Some days are fun, but others are downright exhausting and frustrating. I've decided to try to put the little guy on some kind of schedule. It's so time. Yesterday, little Nick decided he would rather not take a nap at all and was only happy if I was holding him. And not sitting comfortably in a chair, but standing up with him on my hip, facing outwards and walking around. My arm was so sore when Mike finally came home to relieve me. So this morning, I laid him down about a half hour ago for a nap and let him cry for about 10 minutes, at which time I went in and patted his belly to soothe him and he stopped crying. I left. He cried for a couple more minutes but then fell asleep and has been sleeping ever since. My fingers are still crossed.

I will go back now and try to catch up from the last time I posted...

We returned to Nebraska February 24 - March 1. We managed to see all of our families, including my brand new little niece, Katy Lynn, who was born February 3. We even got a night out on Friday night when we left the kids with mom and attended a Stars hockey game with our friend Jen and her mom. Afterwards, we met Jen's hubby, Matt, at a new bar downtown (I forgot the name already!) and were home by 11:30. The rest of the weekend was spent with family and ended entirely too quickly!!

As far as the transition to two kids goes, I'm doing fair. It's still hard for me some days and I feel guilty when I start to think maybe I should go back to work because I know the main reason I really want to is to have some time to myself. It hasn't help that we've all been sick and my depression seems to have returned. Last week was really bad but this week is better so far.

Otherwise, life is dull. I'm looking forward to some nice weather so we can get out of the house. It has been quite chilly for the past couple days.

Uh-oh. Nicky is awake. More to come later.

i pulled it off... Last Friday night I pulled off a surprise party for Mike. It was his 40th birthday and I've been planning it for awhile. I reserved a room at Bernard Mediterranean Restaurant where about 35 of our friends and neighbors were waiting for us. He was actually surprised, too! We had such a good time. We were at Bernard's until about 9:30 and then we went with six other couples across the parking lot to the Down Under Pub. The ladies sat at a booth, drank and danced while the guys played pool. All of us married gals actually got picked up on by somesingles, too. I, of course, had to let all the men know. But the best part of all was the fact that we were out for the first time FOREVER without kids or being pregnant. Both kids stayed with Ashley. We were nervous about leaving Nicky for the first time because there are nights where we think he may be colicky. But he actually slept the whole time we were gone and Ashley woke him up just to be able to hold him. She had both kids in bed when we got home, too. Granted, we were a little slow the next day, but it was well worth it. HAPPY 40TH MIKEY!!

happy birthday to me... I'm 31 today. It's only 10:30 a.m. and so far I've already changed 3 diapers, fed Nicks about 8 ounces and helped Macy potty on the big girl chair. Kinda different from other birthdays, but fun just the same... Things are quiet now with Nicky sleeping and Macy engrossed in this morning's episode of Boobah. A strange little show but she seems to enjoy it and it keeps her still and quiet for about 15-20 minutes, depending on the day...

So my little Nicky is now almost 4 weeks old. The first couple weeks it seemed as if all he did was sleep. The third week, however, it seemed like he was always awake. In fact, we were worried that he may have colic for a couple nights. He would cry inconsolably from 8:00 to 11:00 last Thursday, Friday and Saturday. But ever since, he's been fine and, in fact, doesn't cry at all except when he wakes up and is hungry. Thank you, Lord, and knock on wood...

Macy has become quite the good little girl, too. She usually leaves her brother alone but I have caught her pulling Nicky's pacifier out a couple of times and I also walked in just in time to witness her pulling him out of his carrier and onto her lap. She's not the most delicate person when she's doing thingsl and he was a little mad at her. In fact, he was downright pissed off. Once I made sure everything was fine, I had to laugh though...

Mike and I are hanging in there. We're still a couple weeks away from being in the clear to have sex, but I guess we're just tired enough to be somewhat okay with that. We've spent the last couple weeks trying to keep up with everything but we have managed to have some fun, too. We went to the Boat and RV Expo in Longview a couple weekends ago. We're thinking of trading the boat in for a pontoon. Yay. That's actually what I have wanted all along! Last weekend we hung out with four of our neighbor couples and played board games and drank. We also watched the Super Bowl with the Schwartz's.

But I will sign off now with the newest Macy story that happend the night we were at the neighbors...

We were sitting at the table playinhg Imaginif when Halle, my neighbor's 3 year old, came out and said "Macy is getting wet." I ran into the bathroom to find the bathtub full of water, practically running over and Macy standing there soaking wet from head to toe. Their scale was sunk at the bottom of the tub and there were various other bathroom items floating in the tub, including a purse. At first Dawn and I couldn't stop laughing, but after we thought about it, we realized it could have gone horribly wrong. What if someone had drowned or thrown something electrical in the tub. I'm sooooo thankful that nothing like that happened and since it didn't, I can tell the story for all it's cuteness...

getting the hang of it... I haven't posted for awhile for a couple of reasons. First, we've been having internet problems. It seemed that whenever I got on, I would soon be kicked off. I've had time to check email, but by the time I go to respond, I'm kicked off again. Things seem better today so I'm going to post this short post. Otherwise, I've been spending every ounce of my energy on this crazy new-parent-adjustment-phase of the pregnancy the no one ever talks about. I'm over the blues and have actually spent a lot of time laughing at life's little predicaments (these days usually caused by Macy.) I have so much to write about but it's going ot have to wait. Baby Nicky is growing like crazy and, coincidently, is sitting right here on my lap as I type. That being said, you'll understand if I go now, with the promis to catch up sometime soon, probably late at night when everyone is sleeping...

Nicholas Michael... He was born last Thursday, January 13 and as I sit here, listening to his cute little hiccups, I can hardly believe that today he is one week old. The week has flown by, even through the lack of sleep, anxiety and depression that have all been coming and going. Don't get me wrong, I am happy beyond belief that Nicky is here. He is beautiful with a full head of dark hair and (for now) dark blue eyes. Time will tell if they become crystal blue like his sister's. He is the sweetest thing since Macy and I adore placing my lips and nose against his soft head and simultaneously kissing him and smelling all his newbornness. He came about like this...

Last Thursday I had my final doctor appointment. After checking me, I was informed that I was four centimeters dialated and 75% effaced. The doctor also stripped my membranes again and, at our request, scheduled an induction for the following Monday. He did mention as he was walking out of the room that he would be very surprised if I made it until then. Mike and I then lunched at Cox's diner and I went and walked around the mall for awhile until it was time to pick up Macy early for her two-year checkup. She checked up fine. She weighs 27.3 lbs and is 34 inches tall. The contractions started picking up while we drove home from her doctor. Once home, Macy went outside to play with Truman and I began timing the contractions. Sure enought, they were almost exactly 3-4 minutes apart and after an hour of this, I called Mike and he was on his way to pick me up and go to the hospital. He called our babysitter, Ashley, on the way and she arrived just in time and ready for an afternoon and evening with Macy. I called my mom in the car and she and John ended up leaving that night and arrived the next day around noon.

The check-in process went fairly smoothly at the hospital, but by the time I got to the room and into the lovely hospital gown, I was very uncomfortable and asking when I could have my epidural. The doctor said it was too soon and would come back in an hour to assess. That was a pretty long hour, but once she returned, she was convinced I was actually in labor and orderd the wonderful drug at my insistence. After that, all was perfect until I started to feel some heavy pressure and cramping when I was around 7 centimeters. I was scared that the epidural was wearing off, but was told that it wasn't, that the baby was just moving pretty fast. Before I knew it, I was being told it was time to push and, after pushing through only three contractions, Nicky was here! He looks just like me! Mike was wonderful, of course, making a video documentary as we progressed. He took a week off and today was his first day back. My mom stayed until Monday and after she left I immediately felt sad and homesick. Since then, I've been very emotional in the morniings, but usually by afternoon I'm okay. I was expecting some baby blues because I had them mildly with Macy. I know they'll pass but I must confess that I'm anxious about the transition. In the past I have depended on my immediate and extended family to help me through transitions, but now, being so far away, they're a little tougher to handle. I feel the same way now as I did when we moved. It all makes sense and I understand the reasons, but it's hard nonetheless.

So on with me to embracing the changes and loving the brand new gift I've been given. Nicky and Macy, and of course their wonderful daddy, trump all the negativity.

famous... Macy and I went to the park yesterday and were approached by a local news crew who asked if I would mind being interviewed for a story they were doing on winter allergies. I explained that although I do suffer from allergies, they haven't bothered me for a couple months now. They instead asked me how I felt about the "crazy" weather we've been having. I guess crazy weather, in this area, is 70's one day, 40's the next. Being from Nebraska I'm used to this and much worse, but I did give them some stupid answer. Afterwards they told me just to sit on the bench and watch Macy play so they could get some footage. Well, sure enough, we were on the news last night. Fortunately, they didn't use my interview, but they did get a close-up of Macy playing and running through the park. At one point, she ran up to me on the bench and I scooped her into my arms and she hugged me. It was so cute, I wish I would've thought to record it!

happy new year... I know I'm a bit late, but that's my life lately. I'm slow doing almost everything, including my resolutions which I hope to post in the near future. The only one I have in my mind now is to give birth. I'm still pregnant, a week before my due date and praying every night for a speedy delivery. It seems like I've been having contractions for months now and they don't make any sense. I'll have a "real" one and then a few braxton hicks and then a real one again. Otherwise, I'm feeling fine and really have nothing to complain about besides being uncomfortable, unable to bend or breathe. Oh, and there's the hemorrhoids. I had a dr. appt. last Thursday and I was 3 cm. dialated and 50% effaced and the dr. stretched my cervix to try to get things moving. Um, that kinda hurt. If we don't see a baby by next Thursday we'll get to pick a date to induce so the tunnel is getting lighter.

We just got back from a last minute surprise 40th birthday party for one of Mike's co-workers. We all met and ate mexican at Posados. I ate too much, but I'm taking advantage of my last days of pregnancy and the no-guilt overeating that goes along with it. One of the perks, I guess. Othewise, Mike spent the day working on the patio. It is all finished now with the completion of the mortaring. I took Macy to the mall for the final baby item we needed - a diaper bag. I was going to use Macy's (Yellow with a cute little bug on it) but Mike thought we may need something more boyish. So I got a blue striped bag with a cute little puppy riding a tractor. It is now all packed and ready to be taken to the hospital. I also packed my own bag today so we're all set. Maybe the next time I write I'll be a mommy of two.

happy birthday, macy... I'm a day late getting this greeting out to my little girl. She turned two yesterday and I can hardly believe it. She's such a little girl now - my baby is gone! The weather was absolutely perfect yesterday and the day started out great. We rushed out in the morning to get groceries, a cake and some balloons for the small little birthday party we had planned for last night. But I should have known something was wrong in the afternoon when Macy came to me and asked to go to bed. I laid with her (and the cat and dog) in her bed, with the window open, breeze blowing in and birds singing outside. We talked and and snuggled and eventually she fell asleep. I found it a good time to clean the house. I even washed the baseboards in the kitchen (nesting). Macy wandered out from her room an hour later, looking sad and confused and when I picked her up she threw up all over. I stood there, not knowing what to do because this was the first time she'd been sick like this. I finally ran into the bathroom and sat her on the edge of the tub so she could finish in there. Luckily, her blanket bore most of the vomit. Poor little thing, she was crying and scared. She cheered up, though, when I put her in my bathtub. But afterwards, she asked to go to bed again and slept for the rest of the afternoon. We cancelled her party and took it easy last evening but this morning she opened her birthday presents and she was fine and happy all day. Mike and I were even able to go through with our afternoon date. Ashley babysat while we went to Meet the Fockers (hilarious!) and an early dinner at Red Lobster. When we came home, we continued the birthday celebration with birthday cake, fireworks in the back yard and the viewing of Macy's current favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz. Now Macy, with the help of daddy, is going to bed.

Christmas wrap-up... Considering we were unable to journey home this year, our Christmas was wonderful. On the eve, we went to the mall to attempt a Macy/Santa picture. As we suspected, she was scared to death of him and I ended up being in the picture with her clinging to me. We thought it was appropriate, anyway, to have "the belly" in there, too. Afterwards, we bought some more firewood and headed home. I got the tortilla soup started so it would be ready for us after church. We went to the 4:30 Mass at St. Mary Magadalene in Flint and came home to eat and open gifts and relax, just the three of us. It was nice. Mike and I decided to forego gifts to each other this year in lieu of our brand new rocker-recliner. It's a nice one, too. I could sit there for days. Macy, on the other hand, had plenty of gifts to open and had a lot of fun doing just that.

Christmas morning we spent alot of time relaxing in front of the fire, but that afternoon we celebrated with the Schwartz's and their neighbors by pigging out on prime rib and ended the night by watching the boys play charades.

So now it's back to normal, huh? Yesterday my wonderful husband cleaned both bathrooms and now they sparkle. I clean house a lot, but there's something about the bathrooms. They get far too neglected. We also put away all of our Christmas decor and brought down the baby stuff from the attic. I think we both feel a strong need to get the house ready for baby. Hopefully, it'll be any day now, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I just feel like he's ready. I definitely am ready to not be pregant anymore...

blue... No, I'm not sad. Three of my neighbors threw me a baby shower on Saturday. I thought that was so sweet of them. I got lots of cute little baby boy clothes, blankets, etc. Mostly all beautifully blue. I even wore blue to honor him. It was nice and as I looked around the room at all of my new friends I couldn't help but miss my friends and family back home. But at the same time, I was very grateful for these new people in my life who care about me, too.

That evening, Mike got a sudden urge to smoke some ribs so we invited two couples over for ribs, potato salad, fruit and leftover baby shower cake. Mike and I still can't believe we're able to bbq in the middle of December!

Yesterday, on the other hand, I felt terrible! I started my day with the long-overdue task of going to town and getting groceries. Mike and Macy stayed home and I was gone for almost two hours. I'm moving so slow these days! The rest of the day I did laundry and felt like crap. Mike took Macy with him to get my tires checked and hit Home Depot. I kept hoping that maybe I was going into labor, but the crappy feelings really weren't contractions, just achiness, tiredness and nausea - Yuck! I'm feeling much better this morning though. It's amazing what a good night's sleep will do.

done... with a few things... Last weekend Mike worked pretty much nonstop both Saturday and Sunday and completed the sunroom!! I've since spent the week moving toys out there and studying and stressing and feeling like crap. May I complain? I've had the worst sinus headache, I'm swelling like crazy and am really, really uncomfortable in most positions. To top it off, I had written finals Tuesday and Thursday and an oral on Wednesday. As you probably can imagine, I didn't like the oral exam experience very much. I basically sat in my professor's office and he asked me to explain how I would treat a person who is shy, introverted and hostile if I were practicing from a multimodal perspective. I blabbered on with what I thought were some good ideas for about 10 minutes. Afterwards he told me I did a "fair" job and went on to point out a few places where I was "confused". To his credit, he did say a nice thing or two, as well. At that point, I didn't care, I was just glad I was done...

We've also transitioned Macy to a big-girl bed this week. She's done pretty well but she sometimes wakes up confused and calls for mom or dad. I guess we better get used to getting up during the night anyway.

I had a dr. appointment on Thursday and found out I'm 2 cm. dialated. It's pretty exciting considering I wasn't dialated at all a week past Macy's due date when I went in to be induced.

With that, I'm signing off. I realize this rambling is pretty bad, but at least I've caught up. One of these days I hope to start writing better, but right now my priorities are elsewhere.

hectic... Life seems so crazy these days. First of all, I still have a cold that doesn't seem to want to go away, just move to different parts of my head. But on the positive side, I do have all my Christmas shopping done. But, there are still so many things we need to do around here. I have finals next Tuesday and Thursday plus an oral final on Wednesday - yikes! We also have a half-finished sunroom/playroom that will need to get finished (trimmed, primed, painted, carpet, door and ceiling fan installed) so we can move all the toys there, move the big bed to Macy's room and the crib to the guestroom/soon-to-be-nursery. We have a holiday party tonight at the Hooten's and next Saturday my sweet neighbors are having a baby shower for me:) And then whatdayaknow... it's Christmas! But enough stressing. I really have been enjoying some things, too.

Last week I handed in my Ethics paper and last night I presented on it in class. All seemed to go well but we didn't get our grades back yet. Also, last Saturday Mike and I left Macy with the sitter all day and Christmas shopped at the Canton Trade Days. No offense to little Mace, but it was soooooo nice having a day with my husband all to myself. It's been two months since we've done anything alone! We walked around Canton for about five hours enjoying each other and our surroundings and then, back in Tyler, we went out to eat at Julians before coming on home.

And here we are, almost a week later already. It's been a typical week full of last-minute Christmas buying and wrapping since we'll have to ship all our gifts home this year. I'm still kinda bummed to be stuck here over the holidays, but we'll make it special anyway.

P.S. I'm sick of being pregnant!

Thanksgiving... has come and gone. We hosted a small dinner last Thursday. Mike smoked two turkeys and our guests brought a vegetable and three wonderful deserts so all I had to do was mash some potatoes and make the stove top. It was a nice day and the food was wonderful. The next day we made the four hour drive to Oklahoma City where we met my brother, Luke, and his family at the Holiday Inn. We arrived Friday around 5ish and, after unpacking and a quick swim, we all ate dinner at the Hotel restaurant. The next day we drove downtown to tour the bombing memorial. It was very impressive but I think we all left with some sad feelings after being at the site of such a tragedy... We returned to the hotel and all took naps. Later, after another swim, we drove back downtown and browsed the Bass Pro Shop. Mike and Luke were in heaven and I think the rest of us enjoyed it, too. Afterwards we ate dinner at Tony Romas and were all ready to retire to our room and watch movies. The kids were big into The Wizard of Oz this year so we viewed that a few times.

Traveling has certainly taken on a new meaning with kids. There is so much to enjoy, but it is also so much more effort on our parts. Macy and Sam were so cute together, but neither of them are able to sit still for very long, which made our meals out interesting. We ended up just letting them run around in the restaraunts. They stayed close to our table and, in fact, Macy is into doing laps so it worked out okay.

We returned home Sunday afternoon and were happy to relax. Macy and I have both been battling colds and I think with all of the traveling in the past month, sleeping in different places, she is confused during the night. She's been waking up a lot and calling for "mama" or "daddy." This morning was a rough one. She was whiny and clingy and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I almost kept her home from parent's day out, but decided to try. Turns out she ran right up to her teacher so I left feeling better.

I came home and have been pulling Christmas stuff down from the attic and alternately bringing other stuff up to store. I think I may be nesting because I'm really wanting to "de-clutter" the house. I brought up a few extra chairs and a lot of wall-pictures that have been in the guest room closet. It will soon be the new nursery so I want it cleaned out.

In other news, I finalized my Ethics paper yesterday so that feels good, even though it's not my best work. I was uninspired. I've been in such a wierd mood. I'm getting sick of being pregnant and I'm getting nervous about mommying-for-two. I know everything will be fine, but I can't shake this stressed-out feeling and then I feel even worse when I ask myself why I'm stressed now, before the baby is even here. I need a little bit of therapy, I think.